


Rules of the Avengers

by GStarshine



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Poptarts, poptart empire, set after first avengers, tags added with each chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 12:17:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5205578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GStarshine/pseuds/GStarshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How do you keep super heroes in check? Create a list of rules of course!</p><p>Based off 62 Things the Avengers are not Allowed to Do. I know it has been done before but I read just the list and all of these little plot bunnies went hopping off in my mind. *sigh* Lets see how well this goes. This assumes that Steve and Tony are in a relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

There is a list. It’s a relatively small list but it’s still growing. Ten people hold full copy of this list but parts are scattered through the masses in passing whispers and fragmented rumors.

This is a list of rules. 62 at the moment. Some came to be at the same time and others individually. However they are ALL important to the sanity of those who come into contact with a certain group of incredible people.

The Avengers.


	2. Rule #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reason for Rule #1
> 
> or 
> 
> "Man of Iron! What a delicious fort you have constructed!"

Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries, is used to dealing with all her title entails. That being said, she tries to anticipate problems before they occur or, at the very least, delegate potential problem areas to capable people to prevent problems in the first place. So to say she was surprised to see the ex-army cook that was in charge of the Stark Tower’s cafeteria burst into her office at 7am on a Monday was an understatement.

“What the hell is this Miss. Potts?!” the man barked, red faced and brandishing a clipboard in her direction.

Pepper stood from her desk, a picture of calm despite the outburst, and smoothed her skirt, “Good morning Kevin. Would you mind elaborating what ‘this’ is?”

“Pop-tarts.” Kevin growled.

Pepper frowned and cocked her head, “I’m sorry….”

“Pop-tarts!” he shouted, waving his clipboard at her again, “I’ve got 5,000 cases of them!”

Pepper’s frown deepened as she took the clipboard from a twitchy Kevin and reviewed the shipping log attached to it. She looked up at Kevin with a raised eyebrow, “Why would you blow this week’s entire budget on pop-tarts? Is this another cooking experiment?” she sighed, “I thought we discussed cooking experiments after the toaster waffle debacle.”

“It wasn’t me!” Kevin snapped, snatching his clipboard back and looking down at it with disgust, “Last night I left with the CORRECT order in the computer and I showed this morning to pallet after pallet of cases filled with pop-tarts.” He was breathing heavy and his hands were curled tightly around the clipboard, “What the hell am I supposed to do with fucking pop-tarts?!”

Pepper placed a calming hand on his shoulder, “Alright, easy Kevin. Just deal with it for today and order the usual for tomorrow. I’ll get to the bottom of the pop-tarts. Okay?” Kevin looked up at her with wide eyes and just nodded, turning and walking out the door muttering something along the lines of “So fucking many…”

Pepper went back behind her desk and slumped into her chair, “JARVIS?”

“How may I help you Miss. Potts?” came the refined British voice.

“Please pull up the log of changes made to the cafeteria’s order sheet.” Pepper said, rubbing a hand over her face and turning to her computer screen as a file appeared. She looked at the very top log and her jaw clenched, “JARVIS is this accurate?”

“Of course.” JARVIS said, sounding slightly offended.

Pepper rolls her eyes, “Were is he?”

“Currently he is in his room sleeping on top of the good Captain.” JARVIS answered.

Pepper glared at the computer ID on the screen then grinned as a hilarious thought came to her, “JARVIS? Any chance they will be up any time soon?”

“Seeing as how activity from that room only stopped an hour ago, I would say no.” JARVIS said.

“Excellent.” Pepper said heading from her office.

 

~2 hours later~

 

Pepper looked around the pent house floor with glee, “JARVIS, are they still asleep?”

“The Captain seems to be stirring but otherwise yes.”

Pepper rubbed her hands together in a way reminiscent of a cliché villain, she strode over to the master suites door and schooled her expression. She threw the door open, “Anthony Edward Stark!” she shouted. 

Pepper watched with barely concealed amusement as Captain Rogers bolted upright at her shout, effectively throwing Tony off the bed and onto the floor in a tangle of sheets where he landed with a squawk. Steve looked at her with wide eyes and then went scarlet as he grabbed a pillow and put it over his naked self. 

Tony, however, didn’t care about his nakedness. He shot off the floor and glared at her, “Pepper! What the hell!”

“Don’t you ‘what the hell’ me!” Pepper snapped, “You want to explain why you changed the cafeteria’s food order?”

Tony frowned, “What?”

“The pop-tarts!” Pepper said evenly, “Kevin came running into my office yelling about pop-tarts.”

Tony blinked then a grin spread across his face, “Oh good they came in. Only the best for my employees, because I’m a good boss like that.”

Steve groaned, “Tony tell me you didn’t.”

Tony looked to him grinning wider, “You bet I did Capsicle.”

“Why?” Pepper said evenly.

Steve grimaced and looked up at her, “Thor declared pop-tarts the ‘food of the gods’ last night after eating three boxes. Tony said that they would serve every flavor in the cafeteria so everyone could eat the food of the Gods.” He glared at Tony who looked utterly unrepentant, “I didn’t think he’d actually do it.”

Tony’s grin turned into a cocky smirk, “I’m a man of my word.”

Pepper crossed her arms over her chest, “Tony we can’t only serve pop-tarts. I don’t care if Thor did call them the food of the Gods.” 

Tony rolled his eyes, “Well you’ll see how much people like it during this week. It’s not like we can send back such a large order.”

Pepper took him by his ear and pulled him out of the room, still completely naked. She stopped in the middle of the pent house and looked at him as his mouth dropped open. “No we won’t see. I told Kevin to deal with it today but tomorrow he will get his regular shipment. You, however, get to deal with these.” She said dramatically, waving her hand at the room.

All of the furniture had been removed and the space filled with boxes upon boxes of pop-tarts. The little blue packages had been removed from their cases and were stack up to the ceiling along the walls. Towers of pop-tarts were placed along the floor-to-ceiling windows. More pop-tart boxes were made into shapes of chairs and a couch as well as a rough rectangle in the center made to be a coffee table. In the kitchen pop-tart boxes were stacked along the counters and breakfast bar and (as Tony would later discover) if one looked in the cabinets and fridge only more pop-tarts could be found.

As Tony stood buck ass naked gawking at the pop-tart empire that was his living room the elevator’s doors opened with a whoosh, “Friend Tony! The great spirit JARVIS said you wished to see….” Came Thor’s voice, he trailed off at the end. Tony and Pepper looked over to see the Asgardian looking around the room with wide excited eyes. “Man of Iron.” He said with a reverent whisper, “What a delicious fort you have constructed.”

Pepper hadn’t laughed that hard in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rule #1: Tony is not allowed to replace the entire contents of the cafeteria with pop-tarts just because Thor has declared it the ‘food of the gods’.
> 
>  
> 
> Be gentle! Feedback and ideas welcome! This is based on the 62 things the Avengers aren't allowed to do but I will take suggestions!

**Author's Note:**

> The first couple have been fleshed out and are just getting their final touches. Please stay tuned. :)


End file.
